Reflections on 2017
Here we are on the last day of 2017 and it is gray, dreary, with the temperature dropping quickly as an arctic air mass moves into Central Texas. I've got a cold--the first one of 2017 (and the last) and so today seems the perfect day to stay inside and reflect on another calendar year gone by.
My best one word summation of 2017 is transformation: the act or process of transforming; the state of being transformed; change in form, appearance, nature, or character (dictionary.com).
The seeds I planted way back in 2013/14 really sprouted and bloomed in 2017. Just as I was ready to let go of a dream, I got the opportunity to realize it as the lead teacher of Austin Yoga Tree's inaugural 200 hour teacher training. To be honest, I would have been better suited for the job a few years ago when I was in the thick of teaching, training, and practicing yoga more hours than not. And yet it was so rewarding to spend time sharing what I love and what has supported me for so many years. As with most things yogic, my awareness of my own patterns became apparent---my tendency towards in-the-moment teaching vs. following an organized plan and my tendency to wait to the last minute to plan in general. Not that these are totally bad qualities---but they are things to explore, for sure, since I see these patterns in other areas of my life as well. All in all, though, my experience highlighted my deep love of teaching and enabled me to tend to some other seeds I planted in the beginning of the year--the desire for collaboration with other yoga teachers. I am full of gratitude for the entire opportunity and experience!
Overlapping teacher training, I also stepped more fully into my new career as a psychotherapist. I worked with my first client on March 29th and am ending the year with over 300 hours of direct counseling hours and 400 hours of consultation, training, and ongoing research. I'm nearly a quarter of the way through my internship! Back in 2013, becoming a therapist was a pipe dream. I am amazed that I am actually in practice--and luckily, I really love it. The work suits me in it's requirement for my presence and awareness.
I've often described myself as a seeker, and working in the mental health field is perfectly suited for sitting with the big existential questions of life that I'm often asking. Thanks to my work this year, I came to realize and accept that my mom was mentally ill and that my experience growing up with her affected me deeply in ways I am still sorting out. I've found it crucial to be in therapy now that I am working as a therapist. I am no doubt learning the deepest lessons about myself as I reflect on my inner reactions to what's happening in the therapy room when I am in the helping role. The longer I work with people, whether in a teaching capacity or as a therapist, the more I recognize what Ram Dass so aptly said: "We're all just walking each other home."
As I was walking through Whole Foods today (one of my favorite places to people watch), the words "people are precious" popped into my mind. I think I'm going to write this in big letters somewhere I'll see it every day in 2018. I'm amazed at the resilience of the human race. We ARE precious!
I have some intentions for 2018, naturally:
My best one word summation of 2017 is transformation: the act or process of transforming; the state of being transformed; change in form, appearance, nature, or character (dictionary.com).
The seeds I planted way back in 2013/14 really sprouted and bloomed in 2017. Just as I was ready to let go of a dream, I got the opportunity to realize it as the lead teacher of Austin Yoga Tree's inaugural 200 hour teacher training. To be honest, I would have been better suited for the job a few years ago when I was in the thick of teaching, training, and practicing yoga more hours than not. And yet it was so rewarding to spend time sharing what I love and what has supported me for so many years. As with most things yogic, my awareness of my own patterns became apparent---my tendency towards in-the-moment teaching vs. following an organized plan and my tendency to wait to the last minute to plan in general. Not that these are totally bad qualities---but they are things to explore, for sure, since I see these patterns in other areas of my life as well. All in all, though, my experience highlighted my deep love of teaching and enabled me to tend to some other seeds I planted in the beginning of the year--the desire for collaboration with other yoga teachers. I am full of gratitude for the entire opportunity and experience!
Overlapping teacher training, I also stepped more fully into my new career as a psychotherapist. I worked with my first client on March 29th and am ending the year with over 300 hours of direct counseling hours and 400 hours of consultation, training, and ongoing research. I'm nearly a quarter of the way through my internship! Back in 2013, becoming a therapist was a pipe dream. I am amazed that I am actually in practice--and luckily, I really love it. The work suits me in it's requirement for my presence and awareness.
I've often described myself as a seeker, and working in the mental health field is perfectly suited for sitting with the big existential questions of life that I'm often asking. Thanks to my work this year, I came to realize and accept that my mom was mentally ill and that my experience growing up with her affected me deeply in ways I am still sorting out. I've found it crucial to be in therapy now that I am working as a therapist. I am no doubt learning the deepest lessons about myself as I reflect on my inner reactions to what's happening in the therapy room when I am in the helping role. The longer I work with people, whether in a teaching capacity or as a therapist, the more I recognize what Ram Dass so aptly said: "We're all just walking each other home."
As I was walking through Whole Foods today (one of my favorite places to people watch), the words "people are precious" popped into my mind. I think I'm going to write this in big letters somewhere I'll see it every day in 2018. I'm amazed at the resilience of the human race. We ARE precious!
I have some intentions for 2018, naturally:
- Notice when I'm being critical of others or of myself and remember people are precious
- lean into gratitude and appreciation
- Slow down (yes, even more) to allow for more mindfulness in my actions and particularly in my decision making
- Write more (and publish). I've had a block around this for a long time and I'm starting to understand the origins of my resistance.
- cultivate curiosity
- be creative in my endeavors (flip side: notice when I feel rigid about something)
My friend Kellie had a great observation about her reflections and intentions during the turn of the year. She realized she realized she wants to keep doing more of the things she's been doing in 2017. It's a good feeling to not need change so much as continuity of the good stuff. Here's what I'd like to continue in 2018:
- Being kind and easy with myself
- meditating
- moving every day (dance/walking/asana)
- cultivating friendships with women
- collaborating with other practitioners
Here's to learning more, growing, and accepting all my parts in 2018 and beyond!
2017 highlights:
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